How to make new friends online as an adult (no swiping required)

At school, friends just happened. As an adult, between work, family and moving towns, it takes a bit more effort. The internet can help, if you use it the way we used to: to actually talk to people.

1. Start with what you're into

The easiest conversations start with something you already care about. Chat rooms built around a topic, like sport, gaming, music or the 2000s, give you something to say before you've said anything about yourself.

On Chatroom that might be the Rugby and league room on a Saturday, Retro gaming on a weeknight, or Class of 2004 when you're feeling nostalgic. See every room.

2. Turn up regularly

Friendships come from seeing the same faces. Pick a room or two and pop in at roughly the same time. After a week, people will start saying "oh hey, you again".

3. Ask better questions

"Hey" gets ignored. Questions get answers:

• "What are you listening to at the moment?"
• "What was your first console?"
• "Best takeaway in your town?"

More ideas in our chat room etiquette guide.

4. Take it one step at a time

When you click with someone, a natural progression is:

1. Chat in the room.
2. A private message.
3. Add each other as contacts, so you can see when they're online.
4. A group chat with a few people from the room.

There's no rush. Plenty of great online friendships stay online.

5. Keep it safe

• Keep your surname, address, workplace and number to yourself until you know someone well.
• Never send money to someone you've met online, whatever the story.
• If you do meet in person one day, meet somewhere public and tell a friend where you'll be.
• Block and report anyone who makes you uncomfortable.

More in 12 online chat safety habits.

6. Be the friend you want

Remember people's names, ask how their week went, welcome the newcomers in the room. The regulars who make a room fun are just people who kept showing up and being nice.

Sign up to Chatroom free and say hello in the lobby.